February 2012
2 posts
On happiness.
I’ve thought about it a lot… constantly, almost. I wish for it at 11:11, I pray for it, and it is the one thing I fight for. Isn’t that the case for all of us? Whether it comes in the form of money, or love, or passion, whatever it is is something that makes us happy. And that’s what we want, to be happy.
I’m always jealous of everyone else’s happiness. I look through people’s photos and just...
January 2012
6 posts
things are looking up :)
finally.
i will not give up.
spotlight.
I feel like everyone’s out there,
having the time of their lives.
They’ve found themselves,
they’ve found their friends, their groups,
what they love the most about themselves
and others.
But here I am,
unsure of who I am,
who my friends are.
And the only thing I’m sure of is what I love to do,
and that’s music.
I close my eyes and play and all my problems...
“If you fail today you can try again. There is always tomorrow.”
December 2011
1 post
“Ich hab mich verloren.”
– Auguste Deter, the first confirmed case of Alzheimer’s Disease
“I have lost myself”.
November 2011
2 posts
I guess we're just not meant to be together, huh?
October 2011
3 posts
Ah, who am I trying to fool?
I still miss you.
I’ve never stopped missing you.
I have to learn to believe in myself a little...
September 2011
8 posts
“Happiness is not something we can prepare for. We can’t plan out a course of...”
but tell me, what good is it to love someone who...
I think about you constantly. You make me smile, you make me laugh, you fill me up with hope, you make me happy. I want you more than anything. But you asked me if I loved you? That I cannot answer. I want to say yes because in my mind I love you so much, but how do I know what “love” is, really? Maybe I don’t, maybe I made this all up. I’m afraid to tell you I love...
August 2011
7 posts
everything reminds me of you.
I don't think we're supposed to happen.
No matter how much we may wish otherwise, everything is pointed in the wrong direction. Let’s try to move on.
back to strangers, i guess.
I'm jealous of everyone else's happiness.
July 2011
6 posts
thank you :)
for giving me hope. for showing me the way. for teaching me to have faith. for bugging me when i didn’t want to talk to anyone. for understanding me, & for being there.
I’ll miss you so much, but I feel blessed just to have met you. thank you for everything. really. (:
I hope you know, I'm not going to fight for you.
There were so many things that I wanted to say,...
I wish I had never put on this mask, because now I...
June 2011
6 posts
“No. We’re not together.”
“Then stop talking to her! If you guys aren’t together then why can’t you just stop going out together, just the two of you?”
“…”
“You haven’t even known her for a week. How hard can it be?”
“Because. Because she is the best friend I’ve had. I know I’ve only known...
I just want to leave for a month. In a car, on a plane, by a boat, whatever. With a best friend or a complete stranger. Get lost. Sleep on the streets and run into a fancy hotel in the middle of the night and wake everyone up and set off the fire alarm and get arrested. I want to run, run, run, without caring where I’ll end up. I want to try everything, refuse nothing, and not worry...
He was the strongest person I knew. And when the worst of the worst happened and he still had a smile on his face, I couldn’t help myself. I needed to know. I asked him, “Aren’t you sad?”. And at first he smiled wearily but then suddenly his face changed and turned into something terrible. I thought he would shout and scream and hit me but the look was of dispair and...
April 2011
33 posts
?
Why do I feel this way? I want to be like him and laugh everything off and make everyone happy. Make everything funny. I want to but I feel hate and anger bubbling up inside of me and tears in my eyes. I don’t want to shout, I don’t want to cry, I don’t want to leave, but I do. I don’t want to but I do.
Once someone does something, even if it’s just for a week or a day or a second, and even if they realize their mistakes and apologize and apologize and apologize and try to make up for it; and even when i realize they mean what they say, that they truly are sorry and would never do it again; even when i forgive them with all my heart. Somehow, that’s the one thing that stays in my mind...
I haven't laughed this much in ages.
theregoesthe-fear asked: the title of your blog sums up my secret blog, sometimes it's just better to write things down then to have to try explain them or that :) you seem like a nice person!<3
thesedaysareadaze asked: your blog describes everything all the emotions running through me, exactly. no one understands, right? you would be different in a heartbeat, if you actually could.
You seem hurt. Hurt and sad and struggling. I...
I shouldn’t have said that.
My parents don't have any faith in me at all. And...